im just the medicine you take when youre sick, you get well & thats it

i feel terrible. i have been sick since mardi gras night and this is the first time ive been out of bed since i got off work tuesday at 11pm. im like pretty sure i might have strep throat or the flu, im not sure which. i hate taking over the counter medicines but have been forced to because my fever got to be like 103. uuugh. never again will i go out until 5am on lundi/mardi gras.

i did have quite the good mardi gras weekend though. alex's sister came down and she is so much fun. i cant wait til we are family. i stayed at the hotel for a few nights bc lauren and my sister both got rooms on seperate nights so i crashed with them after we got in. we only had one really crazy night, which im not even going to discuss in detail bc i wouldnt mind forgetting some of it. all i know is i had a lot of fun, i was sad that no one really came down this year, jordan couldnt make it and neither could any of the family that was planning to, but it was good times anyway.

when there wasnt anywhere for me to go i stumbled into deep love with your rock n roll

i cannot stop making radio stations on pandora. it amazes me how they pick songs, whoever wrote the program its built on needs a noble peace prize or something. if you dont know what it is, its this site you go to, you type in a song or an artist and it builds a radio station around your suggestions. i made one with coconut records and she & him, i got songs from both artists as well as songs from belle & sebastian, the shins, and feist and very rarely is a song played that i dont like. there is even a drop menu on each song and if you click where it says why did you chose this song it will tell you the elements in the song that they believe appeal to you. apparently, i like music with "electronica influences, r & b influences, rock n roll roots, jazz influences, demanding instrumental part writing, melodic horn lines, mild rhythmic syncopation, basic rock song structure, folk influences, mixed acoustic and electronic instrumentation, pop rock qualities, a subtle use of vocal harmony, acoustic rhythm piano, and a mix of major and minor key tonality" that is of course, a description encompassing all of the stations i have saved right now not just one. its so fun though yesterday i made a station around "i cant take my eyes off of you",buddy holly, ritchie valens, and the ronettes and so all day all i listened to was that doo wop pop from the 50/60s. today im in a brighter mood though, so im listening to my tilly & the wall/the bird and the bee station-- its happy, fun, whimsical indie pop. <3
i cant wait to go shopping today.


this is a weird/cute video but its better than the artist's and really i just cant get this song out of my head.

nothing feels better than ok

in an attempt to pull myself out of my head and push myself into the real, waking world i have deactivated my facebook account. i don't spend that much time on there, but i've decided that i don't really need to spend anytime on there at all. everyone that i have in my day to day life is amazing & pseudo-connecting with people that i really never see or who i'm friends with just because i'm nosy is kind of ridiculous. i have the addresses & phone numbers of people who live elsewhere, so they're still in reach. i will not, however, get rid of this blog because its really quite fun.
this video...

totally reminds me of this video...

& i love them both. for some reason i cant stop listening to 50/60s pop today though.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!

lol i <3 these.

all the beautiful sounds of the world in a single word

tonight i noticed that my name has the same number of syllables as maria aaand corina & so ive come to realize that only an incredibly cool indie rock n roll-ish or an incredibly gay boy can make my dreams of an iconic serenade come true. sighs.

such is life.

the love you feel and carry inside can be passed

i cant wait until valentines day! its only like 6 days away!
i never understand how people dont like valentines day, even if theyre single. ive never had a proper valentine and i still look forward to it every year. i get that its a greeting card holiday and all that jazz but even so its a day thats there for you to celebrate whomever it is you love at that time. valentines day has always been special, ever since i was little. every february 14th me and lele would wake up and go to the living room for cartoons and every year there was a single rose & a mini box of chocolates for each of us from our dad and a bag of candy and toys from our mom. my mom always had a dozen roses and a huge box of chocolates and maybe some jewelery or something from dad, then me and lele had whatever school projects we had done that year to give to them. all in all, it was a day that manifested the love we all had between each other in little gifts or crafts, however cheesy. so this year, like the past few years have been, i will be spending v-day with my best friends. curently im planning on baking cupcakes that im going to be passing out to my work buddies & some new friends. for the evening im pretty sure we are gonna end up at chevys bc bebe is the only one of us scheduled to work and so we can all be together, we are going to go there and then come back to my house so we can watch movies. anyway, im very excited about it! i know my friends know how much they mean to me but it will be a nice day to just hang out together and be girls and get dressed up and celebrate the fact that even though we are all pretty much boyfriendless at the moment, we are still ok. soceity kind of makes you feel like if youre not with someone yet that you should be on some desperate search but i dont think it has to be like that all. relationships of all sorts are important and maybe until youre in love or even just trying to get there with someone, its nice to have friendships to get you through, so why not celebrate that? so screw people calling it singles awareness day, its valentines day and its all about love & happiness.

we treat mishaps like sinking ships

so craquiris is now a tradition as this is the second week in a row weve gone there and rented movies.

all i really came here to say is i cant wait to fall in love. hopefully its adventurous and fun and adorable like nick & nora. i hope whn i fall in love its with someone who has good taste in music-- im pretty sure thatd make my life complete. <3

& ps. im done obsessing. hes just not that into you has opened my eyes.

its alright, its ok, because of the love he gave away

1) What are you wearing right now? robot pajama pants and a striped hoodie shirt



2) What's the last thing I read/ are currently reading? the beautiful and damned by f.scott fitzgerald is the last thing i completed reading. it was lovely but kind of sad. currently i am reading as if after sex by joseph tochia. i dont really know how i feel about it yet bc so far the entire book is just this guys stream of conscience so the time line can get rather confusing. its a good idea though, not like anything ive read before.



3) Do you nap a lot? not at all really.



4) Who was the last person you hugged? probably bella or sarah. i cant remember really.



5) What's your current obsession/addiction? surprisingly i dont really have one right now. ive been kind of random this week.



6) What was the last thing you said out loud? "...you said tomorrow would be fun..." im singing along to "who'd have known" by lily allen. its on the mix im listening to right now, its such a cute song. i ♥ it



7) What websites do you always visit when you go online? ontd, facebook, yahoo



8) What was the last item you bought? blueberries & hummus last night at the grocery store.



9) What is your most challenging goal? losing weight bc i really hate exercise-- i dont like sweat, i think its gross, but im trying to look past that and just do it.



10) If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished- anywhere in the world, where would it be? i cant decide between manhattan and paris. id probably choose manhattan though bc i already know english and id hate to live in paris before im fluent in french.



11) Favorite Vacation spot? for sentimental value: galveston, tx // for fun: anywhere as long as my friends are with me


12) Say something to the person who tagged you: oh i wasnt tagged, i just saw it on micheals blog and wanted to do it. im nerdy like that.



13) Name one thing you just can't resist no matter how bad it is for you: tbh, i can resist almost anything if i really want to but i guess id say its really hard for me to say no to a drink especially if im out and already kinda tipsy.



14) You are on the Oregon Trail. How are things going? i have no idea what oregon trail even is.



15) If you woke up tomorrow and were a boy, what is the first thing you would do and why? i dont know...cry. i would not make a cute boy.



16) Name one thing you can not live with out: my cell phone. i get bored too easily to not be able to randomly text people.



17) Has a celebrity's haircut ever influence you on your own hairstyle? all the time. when i decide i need a new style the first thing i look at are pictures of celebrities with hair im jealous of.



18) What is your favorite characteristic or quality about yourself [not appearance-related]: that im still immature and fun, even though ive been through some heavy stuff and am at the point in my life where im making some hard decisions and trying to see plans through i like to have fun with life bc we only have one and i would hate to be serious all the time.



19) What brought you to blogland? well i had been writing blogs on myspace for a while, but i found myself holding back bc i was very aware of who had access to them. so i decided the best thing to do was just make a public blog so that way i could just write like i was addressing the world and maybe be a little more honest and hold back less.



20) New Question: What attracts you most to another person? i have no idea. i find all kinds of different guys attractive so i cant really pin point any one thing.


21) New Question II: If you had to choose between a goose who laid golden eggs for Easter or fizzy lifting drink, what would you choose? the goose. im afraid of heights so fizzy lifting drink is not even remotely tempting to me, especially since they almost got chopped up into little pieces by that fan, that part always scared me.

22) Your New Question: If you could pick only one song to listen to on repeat for the rest of your life, what would it be? "romeo & juliet" dire straits ive loved that song since my dad played it for me when i was a little girl and i think its just the most romantic, beautiful song ever.

we havent met yet

:*)

i feel myself about to begin a new obsession with this boys' songs. i first heard him in short bus and his song was my favorite from the soundtrack but for some reason i just recently realized he has a full length out so im gonna go buy it tomorrow but until then i decided to (LEGALLY) download this song & its now on repeat along with soda shop. so go listen to him. you can thank me later.

and now to me everything else, it just sounds like a lie

so these past few days have been rather amazing. youve read about my weekend already and then yesterday i finally found a good version of "going for the gold" to listen to while i sleep, i got the britney tickets i had been hoping for at a very good price, the book i started reading is amazing, my money situation is improving, i found out that lily is doing a u.s tour & that bruce is playing bonnaroo. everything has been very fun and positive lately and now im completely terrified that something terrible is going to happen to counteract all of this. this is exactly how my life was when my dad died. we had just got back from skate & surf, i had a new job & apartment, i had new friends, and my life was going really well and then he was gone and my life took this like 3 year downward spiral that im just starting to feel like i recovering from. i hate living with this fear that every time things are going well for me, that something is going to happen to ruin it all.

anyway, here is "going for the gold" if you want to hear it.

i really like the part where he says "cause each note sounds so pure, it just cuts into her". he says cut so crisply that you can feel and almost see it then her is sung so sympathetically that you feel like hes apologizing to her for everything else seeming so fake. its probably one of the strongest endings of a song bc it leaves you with a definite emotion. well it leaves me with one, thats probably bc i love everything conor & bright eyes and so i tend to listen repeatedly and over analyze.

ps. i have no idea why who ever posted this video used such a creepy picture. so here is a more accurate one.

close your eyes, the dark outside can't hurt you

its funny how i never care who i am talking to until i stop talking to the person that i really want to talk to.

talkin about glory days

this weekend off has been much needed and very much enjoyed. friday i finally made it to craquiris with lele & alex. stayed at their place and ended up watching the strangers all alone (while drunk, which is not something i recommmend to anyone who scares easily), it was fun though bc we have been meaning to go to that daquiri shop for a long time, and its always fun to see alex drunk bc for a marine he really cant handle his liquor.

saturday was actually very chill bc all i did was go with lele & alex to meet bea & lacey at canal place for slumdog millionaire. god, that movie was so good. i dont think ive ever felt such a range of emotion in a film before. it was funny and sad and romantic and you hated some characters while you loved others and then there were some you just didnt know how you felt about. it was very good and i fully intend to see it again very soon. then i went to the mall and made myself proud bc i went to steve madden & did not buy a single pair of shoes even though there was a crazy sale and i also resisted purchasing that mood lipgloss, oscar blandi hair spray & jasmine dry shampoo at sephora. apparently reaching my half birthday (and becoming twenty three & a half) has seen me to a new level of self control. yay me! oh and then we went to barnes and noble where i bought 2 books and a calendar but that doesnt counteract my self control at the mall bc i made purchases that were good for me, as enriching your mind by reading is not something you should feel bad about.

then, of course, there is today which has been nothing short of a cup full of wonderful. the past twelve hours have been lovely & enchanting & chill & i had such fun. to start with i woke up early, picked up lo & erin, then headed to the ferry. we caught the ferry to downtown & went to see the first showing of revolutionary road at canal place. it was such a good movie. it made me very sad though. i think it made me so sad bc i have the same kind of fears that kate winslet's character had. im afraid of turning into one of those mechanical people who forgets what its like to make mistakes and take risks and really feel alive. i dont want to end up turning into someone who lives each day in some humdrum routine that she despises, and i certainly dont like the idea that so many people think that comfort = happiness. i think happiness is completely undefinable bc it comes in little moments and enormous triumphs. its something that you dont have all day everyday, its something that life throws at you when you really need it and when you catch it, for however briefly, you'll know it.
anyway, that was way off point. so after the movie we got coffee bc poor erin worked overnight last night and hadnt been to sleep yet. we kind of just walked around the quarter talking and shopping. though my self control did slip a little today bc i bought a frame from urban outfitters, but its somewhat justified bc i was in a music induced dreamy world of happiness bc while we were in the upstairs sale section "cape canaveral" from conor oberst & the mystic valley band played IMMEDIATELY before madonna's "vogue" and thats the description of a musical orgasm as far as im concerned. not to mention, the frame says "love" on it and we all know my obsession with that word & it was silver AAAND it was on sale for one 9.99 plus, it was the last one. so. i dont feel bad about it all. we also went to my favorite little book store on chartres where i picked up four new books. i love that store bc i always find the most brilliant and random books there. its not like barnes and noble were as youre walking down the aisles youre overwhelmed by the shiny new spines of books, youre not bombarded by vivid colors and an ever increasing number of new eye catching fonts. the books at this store are all old and worn and their covers lack that new book luster that can be so distracting. after that stop we went into some vintage store, some store with really cute tights, then to sole star (whose style i have completely grown out of, so now i need to find a new shoe store). on our walk back to the ferry we ran into the same steelers fans that we had seen a little earlier and that erin had argued with about the cardinals-- they were kinda drunk, it was funny. then we smelled what we thought was boiled crawfish and decided to stop in this little restaurant and eat bc my recent jump from the world of vegetarianism to pescatarianism had me interested in having crawfish again. they ended up not having crawfish but they did have oysters, which i had never had before. so i ordered a half dozen chargrilled for all of us to try. after a little coaxing (& some unwanted filming of my first foray into the slimy little shelled dish) and some help from the lovely waitress i tried them. they actually are pretty good. then, somehow, lauren convinced me and erin to try raw oysters and all i have to say about that is never again. it wasnt bad but i just dont think i could do it. it creeped me out. it was new though, so it was also fun.
after that we headed back to the ferry and i made it home just in time to catch the beginning of the superbowl. i kind of watched it off and on but i saw all the major plays and was completely entranced by the half time show. im very glad i didnt join my friends at chevys just because watching bruce with my mom and sisters felt really nice. it made me kind of sad, bc obviously we were all thinking about my dad since hes the one who made us all fall in love with bruce when we were young, but it was a nice kind of sad. the kind of sad that made me appreciate the fact that i have the family thats still here and that the one part that is gone can still bring us together. plus, bruce is just bad ass and you have to love him rockin out and just feeling good and having fun. he seems like such a good man. i think id like to marry a man that is like him-- adventurous and good hearted, smart and poetic, handsome and sensitive and manly and edgy and hot and just...ugh...everything! lol i dunno. i just love bruce springsteen. unfortunately, i did miss the puppy bowl on animal planet while i was out today, but bella assured me that they will play it again so i can watch it with her then. :) shes adorable. and since the superbowl has been over i have been doing absolutely nothing other than discovering the recently leaked tracks off of lily's new album, writing this, and listening to music. life has been good this weekend, and hopefully work tomorrow will let me stay on this cloud just a little bit longer. <3