pick your class, pick your crime.

so lately ive come to realize some crazy things. like all of these things that i always thought were for everyone else, actually arent. that i can kind of be a part of all of that if i want to do, which im not sure if i do yet, but its nice to kinda know that its pretty much always been an option if i would have just opened my eyes a little more. lalala. i dunno. random, but i know what im talking about & thats all that matters. :P
ive also come to realize lately that im really the only one holding myself back, that even though im doing the things im doing so that way i can help out when i need to, i dont really have the pressure to do that. ive been putting myself on the back burner even though no one really ever asked me to do that and realizing that maybe they dont need me as much as i thought, is kind of a good thing. so i have every intention of going to school in the spring/summer no matter if i get financial aid or not. i will do loans if i have to. im already in debt so i might as well keep it adding up so that i at least get an education and not just a bitchin wardrobe out of the deal.
also, people really piss me off. i never really discussed the election or anything bc i know how sensitive of a subject it can be, but since obama has won i feel like all of these terrible things and ideas have crawled out of deeply burried holes in some people i would consider friends and its kind of disheartening bc i feel like hating someone so much and with such conviction before he even takes office means that youre not hating him just because of his politics bc he hasnt even had the chance to show us what he can do yet. its coming from somewhere else and that scares me; to know that a few people on some of my friend lists have these feelings, whether they acknowledge them or not, sucks bc ive always thought that my friends were the best but i guess its impossible always to really know people.

ps. CONOR IN TWO DAYS!!!