12.25.2009

"enough... enough now."

its sad when you realize that life is not like a romantic comedy. that someone does not always come for you at the last second and that sometimes people just stay lonely. real life is not always as beautiful as the perfect little moments that spin around a movie reel, most of the time its like the millions of scenes that end up on the cutting room floor.

this moment of crippling sadness and reflection is brought to you by my favorite movie:


watch the video here. it was removed from youtube. stupid copyright infringements.

7.20.2009

if i had anything i thought was remotely interesting to discuss right now, i swear id be updating more often but there isnt much (that i dont consider too personal) to share on here. i do hope everyone is doing well though. <3

ps. devin, good luck on your changes! i read your blog im just terrible at replying.

7.05.2009

im like the shittiest blog writer ever.
oooh well. i shall update soon enough. its just been a crazy few weeks but my birthday is coming up so... :)

6.18.2009

im listening to the kinda music she doesnt like...

there is something i want to say but all words have escaped me for the night.

going to listen to music (loving taylor swift & the kooks right now. its an odd mix but its working for me).

5.20.2009

♫theres no beginning and there is no end♫

i think im going to stop reading the book im reading now and re-read the unbearable lightness of being bc ive definitely been feelin connected to sabina lately. i totally agree with her on her views of privacy & things of that sort. when i get to the exact part im thinking of, ill type up the paragraph on here to see if anyone else agrees with me.

before that though, im heading out again tonight. ive had quite a full & busy day off. its been pretty good for the most part, and the one part that wasnt... im over.

i think that she knows

i realize this does not matter to most people, but i hate to keep good hair products a secret. as someone who has spent her entire life struggling with her crazy curly Hispanic hair i have FINALLY found a line of styling products that work every time in any conditions... Oscar Blandi's Jasmin Collection from Sephora. i don't own everything, as a matter of fact ive been wanting to try it for sometime and so i finally broke down and shelled out the $48 for the five piece Tool Kit.

it is amaaaazing.

I, obviously, don't wash my hair everyday because: 1.) my hair is naturally drier than most (its coarse & curly and im sure this is not surprise to anyone who knows me) and 2.) because i wear my hair straight most of the time and if i were to style it everyday the heat damage would be irreparable. So after not washing my hair for about two days it gets pretty icky at the roots, its at this point that i usually wash my hair and wear it curly for a day or so. well no longer! I now use the dry shampoo at the crown and on my bangs and it really is like i just washed my hair. It gets back all of the volume and takes away that goopy greasy look while making my hair smell just like Jasmin. its a miracle in a bottle. Ive also started using the Luce gloss treatment once a week, after only 2 applications people are already complimenting me. I'm not going to go through every piece of this kit, just know that they all work very well and so if you're looking for a new hair line to love Oscar Blandi is probably it. I haven't tried any of the shampoos or conditioners yet, but im thinking i might be getting those soon as well. i just have to decide which line i want. :) if you decide to try any of his stuff, let me know!

<3 have fun today!

5.08.2009

pull me under your weather patterns, your cold fronts & the rain don't mater

I think I'll always trade a lack of sleep for the presence of more fun. I'll sleep when I'm dead, right?

That being said, I'm opting for a much more low key after hours then I've had the past three nights. no substance induced euphoria, loud music, clubs, or embarrassing pictures-- just chillin with a bestie and talkin' about life.

5.07.2009

tell me what you thought about...

k. so the past two days have been super fun but i completely give up all drinking and going out until lauren's birthday weekend.

ps. im still kinda sleepy and ive been taking mini naps since i woke up at 7:30 today. i do nooooot want to go to work today.i wish i could call in sick :(

5.01.2009

im not a princess, this aint a fairytale

im sleepy and i smell like lavender and roses.
its a good night.
<3

4.29.2009

i've never gone with the wind, just let it flow, let it take me where it wants to go

ACL line up has been announced and like Coachella, i want to go. Austin is much more doable than L.A though so maybe ::cross your fingers:: this year. sucks there shall be no jenny or conor and that i will have to share space with fans of the dave matthews band, but whatever. now i must convince someone to come with me. im thinking jordan is my sure bet since lily is playing( and had it not been for his near death mystery illness earlier this year we totally would have made her show in atlanta) but we shall see.

anyhoo, that is that. i dont have much else on my mind lately except this book im trying to finish. i dont particularly care for it at all, really, but i hate to leave books unread because the characters and story probably meant a lot to the author, even if they dont connect with me. its not all bad either, considering it was written by this girl when she was 14-16 years old (this fact is why, of course, i became interested in reading it at all); its just very predictable and probably meant for younger readers. sooo im off to read and sleep and listen to some music before i have to be up tomorrow to take care of the dull adult obligations that seem to be seeping into my life more & more often these days. blaaaah.
i need to have some major fun soon. im thinking this saturday will provide me with some :)

4.27.2009

i just want to break you down so badly

as much as i hate the new taking back sunday (because nothing will ever replace the amazingness of john & adam together) i kind of really do love "Makedamnsure".
i just felt it was time i actually admit to that.
feel free to judge me.

MakeDamnSure by Taking Back Sunday

4.24.2009

how could this be done by such a smiling sweetheart

god my last post was so freaking emo. ugh anyway, that situation is now completely out of my mind so its time for new things! lately i have been pretty busy but not really doing anything of much substance. i've kind of been on this whole search for art and inspiration thing lately but it hasn't been a very fruitful search. im not good at doing things alone yet so if i don't have someone to come along with me then i usually just don't do what i set out to. its a very bad thing i'm recognizing in myself so i'm trying to remedy it the best i can. that being said, i have every intention of spending tomorrow on magazine and in the quarter just soaking up the city & its people.
i've been doing a lot of thinking lately about where i want my life to go and who i want to become and what i want to accomplish and i think i have a pretty good plan in place, i just have to get the courage to break away from everything that i'm so familiar with and really put my ideas to work. i'm going to make a conscience effort to be less of a dreamer and try to be more practical and adult. my one big problem is that i really just don't like doing things that aren't fun; i hate paperwork and interviews and saving money but those are things that must be done to get where i want to be.
aaaanyway, i got my lovely tax refund today but instead of doing what i want to do with the money, i'm going to do what i should do with the money, which is get my car in shape bc i've been needing brakes for about 6 months (very unsafe, i know, but i've been broke!) and then put the rest on my credit cards. i'm sure this is all for the best, but its kind of heartbreaking to have all that money sitting in my account and not having anything pretty or sparkly to show for it in the end. :(

listening to: "naive" by the kooks

4.13.2009

You're not reallysure what you're doing this for but you need something to fill up the days

Id like to think that I would have never allowed myself to be that person bc I wouldn't feel right possibly hurting someone for the sake of selfishness, but for a split second I really considered it, just because it was a completely new feeling. now I just need things to get out of my head; so, I am welcoming any and all distractions.

le sigh... my insides have been so rollercoaster-y lately :(

3.26.2009

just look at that girl with lights coming up in her eyes

I think I suffer from chronic dissappointment bc I want every moment of everyday to be different and new and exciting. apparently, life isn't like that all of the time. Sometimes you have to learn to relish the routines, the constants, and the old friends, and learn to take comfort in the, maybe not new or exciting, but definitely good things about your life. It's not that I'm unhappy, bc I'm pretty contet most of the time, it's just that it seems like I'm always trying to find the next rush of emotion or conscienceness or thought. I dunno I guess it's something I have to work on.

3.24.2009

should I fall behind, wait for me

Never blogged from the iphone before. anyway, I'm only writing this bc last night I was thinking about how often we don't say or let people know what we really feel about them. We kind of just expect everyone to pick up on it, or tell ourselves that maybe we shouldn't say anything for fear of embarrassment or rejection but it's really rather stupid to do that. generally, knowing or not knowing how someone else feels about you doesn't really change how you feel about them. so I just wanted to say that I hope someday everyone will learn to let go of the complications and hours of thinking and just be honest with each other. love makes the world go round, right? so don't have people around you if you don't think you can love them, in whatever role they may play in your life. and if you do feel like you need someone in your life that isn't really around anymore, let them know you miss them I'm pretty sure it'll end up being better for both of you.

3.23.2009

cuz you know that baby im...

my internet has been down for like 4 days and its totally killing me bc its definitely my cure all for boredom. anyway, im sitting here at lele's currently waiting for the jonas brothers tickets to go on sale at 10 am. im such a loser, but sarah and bella will be happy especially if they get floor seats, which is what im aiming for. i woke up at 630 today to get here early so lelers could make it to work on time, so kudos to me for not waking up in a bitchy mood like i usually do when i have to get up early. :) i think its bc i had a lovely weekend.
saturday was daddy yankee and pretty much my first attempt at any bartending outside of the hotel, and i must say, i think i did quite well. it wasnt hard, so i was pretty much nervous for no reason at all, i guess i just get self conscience when im doing something new-ish. i hope i can do it again soon bc i really had a good time and to be honest, the extra cash totally helped me out. ps. seeing daddy yankee for free while everyone else paid hella money to get in was pretty fantastic, not to mention all the surprisingly hott guys that were there. i never knew we had so many attractive hispanic men in the city. ngl, kinda glad i live here now.
yesterday was bellas birthday party, her actual birthday was friday. its weird that shes so old now. shes cute and crazy and definitely very comical. her party came out wonderful, a lot of her friends showed up and it was just a nice day at the park. after that me, lo, bea, and lele all went to the melting pot for a mini dinner/drinks thing. it was nice. anyway, this weekend was very relaxed and just kinda chill. im gonna go now though bc jack and cooper are giving me sad eyes so im gonna go play with them.

3.18.2009

you are the reason that i breathe

today is my first attempt at wearing a wrap skirt. kinda weird ive never owned one before but this one is totally cute and a very pretty teal color. aaanyway, i think im gonna wear it with my alexander mcqueen tshirt and my black tights & flats. i shall upload a photo if im pleased with the outfit. not that anyone really cares what im wearing, but ITS MY FIRST TIME WEARING A WRAP SKIRT(!!!) and im excited. fashion firsts are always fun.


& im completely obsessed with jai ho from the pussycat dolls. i srsly cannot stop listening to it. i wish there was a place here that was doing the whole jai ho work out thing. that seems so fun. i need to live in nyc or la where all those crazy fads hit really big.

an elevator ride through the tunnel towards the light and im nowhere bound

so i was trying to go to sleep before 2 am but since that obviously didnt happen i want to say this... twitter is not serious business. there are all these people on there whose tweets im reading and they seem rather personal considering they have friends lists that are probably made up of people they know through ontd. like... i really dont care if you think its weird that people sleep with underwear on, i think its weird that you dont, but im certainly not gonna tweet about it. and there is this other girl who is on my twitter friends list that keeps talkin about her ex boyf wants her (srsly like third post about it today probably)which is fine and dandy but if i were him id be kinda pissed that she was repeating things i was saying to her privately in a public forum...like the motherfucking internet, where nothing ever dies. i dunno, i just think its weird. end rant.

3.17.2009

the music was just being born, it was all I was longing for

i feel like all i ever do is think. there are all of these very serious things that go on inside of my head sometimes but im afraid of driving people away if i bother them too much with it all. its not that i think i cant talk to my friends, bc i know i can. i just hate being debbie downer. i feel like ive had 4 1/2 years to get happy, and i am most of the time, but i feel stupid for still having sad nights. it kinda sucks that i feel like i always have to be fun star, or mature star, or silly star but i never get to be sad star or scared star or boring-nothing-to-talk-about star bc it seems like no one really wants to be around when its not any fun. or maybe im just afraid to let them be around when i am those versions of myself. i dont know. its all very hard for me to understand and get a real grip on. im not in the mood for this philosophical crap tonight. i need to stop listening to bright eyes when its late at night.

on another note, i really wanna go to daddy yankee this weekend but my broke ass cant afford it; its either buy the jonas brothers tickets for my sisters or go to daddy yankee and tbh, i couldnt forgive myself if they missed that concert so i could dance to gasolina. i was supposed to go work the daddy yankee thing with bea but i dont know if thats really gonna happen bc she hasnt said much about finding someone to cover her shift, so im pretty much gonna take the silence as a no. oooh well. i will just be bored or end up going to baton rouge and having that haunting drinking party with kaylee. we shall see.

also, despite what i said about listening to bright eyes while its late, you should totally listen to entry way song from them bc its really beautiful and heartfelt and i just love it tonight. <3 night.


edit:
heres the song...


& lyrics...

Last Saturday I stood in your entry way
That place where we used to wait
For cars to carry us away
Like once in this storm, they drove me and Justin home
The music was just being born
It was all I was longing for

Now I’m on a plane
Off singing my songs again, oh please don’t think ill of it
Cause it’s the reason I exists
But you, you’re the crutch of a cripple
You're the calm of a conscience
You're the peace that I have found
When all these voices talk too loud you are quietly reassuring me
With the hands of a healer
And the tongue of a teacher
It’s your voice that I have known
To be the first one on the phone
Yeah, you ran all the lights to the hospital

So don't you say to me
That life's a trap
The future is nothing but a tragedy
'Cause I'll be out of that window
Yeah, I'll start wishing to die again
Just say we're not walking backwards, kid
And show me to the door
And I'll walk behind
Out into the hot sunlight
Where the world's very much alive
Even when I close my eyes

Well, should I admit
That my promise is counterfeit
That I'm careless and childish
And that's all I can hope to be
And would you concede
That I think only of myself
I refuse everybody's help
Who has been reaching out for me
Well, you reach with the soul of a sailor
And the swing of a miner
You have cleared the rock away
Leaving gold there in its place
And it is more than anyone could claim
Oh, with the sense of a banker
And with the touch of a tailor
You saved this life for me
And you have sown it to beauty
And I am grateful now and I will always be

So would you sing with me
The song is all I know
Some truths are told now only in a melody
So I've been writing a new one
Yeah, I've been taking my time with it
It's gonna be so perfect
It's gonna hold all of us inside of it
You will see
If you just add your harmony
I think it would be complete
And be worthy of singing
Becomes a symphony

Yeah, you're the cool of the water
You're the start of the summer
Keep me still like an anchor
In a storm you're the cellar
When I'm heavy with worry make me light as a feather
When I'm deafened by anger you're the song I remember
With the grace of a dancer and the strength of a pillar
When I'm starving to suffer you just fill me with laughter
You're a poet
And a saint
You are the only one I choose to imitate
Oh, like the love of a father through the eye of a camera
It's this picture I have seen
We're on a sloping hill of green
And you are walking there beside me

3.14.2009

i srsly hate rain. its not fun at all. all it does is ruin perfectly straightened hair and make me afraid of driving. ugh and it means i have to find my other black shoes to wear to work bc god knows you cannot wear suede flats when its wet outside.

3.13.2009

bet'cha on land, they understand, bet they dont reprimand their daughters

so i pretty much had two very different conversations about the same thing tonight. see, ever since i first saw the little mermaid ive pretty much been obsessed with it. i used to call forks dingle-hoppers when i was younger, i used to try to make lele's bangs do that swoopy thing ariel's did in the movie(i couldnt do it with my hair bc my hair was curly and this was the pre-flat iron era), and ive always wanted red hair (unfortunately with my complexion it just doesnt work). so today when i was talking about what exactly i'd like my ideal husband/man/significant other, whatever you wanna call him, at dinner i was describing the tall, dark haired man of my dreams and all the personality traits i think i'd really like to have in someone. so i get home and im kind of still thinking about it and i end up having a cupcake that has an ariel ring on it, and its then that i realize that at dinner when i was describing my ideal mate, it was pretty much a real life version of prince eric. it just made me chuckle when i realized that, so i thought id write about it. now im wondering if i will ever find a real life eric, i mean, if someone had to dream him up he probably doesn't really exist. freaking disney-- made my childhood but is ruining my adulthood.

3.11.2009

whats so simple in the moonlight by the morning never is

because i seriously have nothing better to do today until i go to work Ive been shopping online and i heard a while ago that Zooey Deschanel was coming out with a line of sunglasses but i didn't realize that they were already available. they're super cute, remind me a little too much of wayfarers but i like them anyway. so i go to the Oliver peoples website to see how much they are... they cost $415. what is with me and wanting things that are way beyond my budget?! its killing me. i love the white ones and i think the cleaning cloth that looks like a napkin is adorable. i could never bring myself to pay that much for sunglasses though, especially not Oliver peoples. you can get Chanel, Prada, and Dior for at or a little under that price. the most Ive ever spent on sunglasses srsly is $25 for a pair of vintage Moschinos that i got at a thrift store in Austin last year. designer & cheap is not something you really ever come across, so i know im lucky to have found those, but i think even if i had ridiculous amounts of money i could not justify spending that much on sunglasses.

boy dont try to front i-i know j-just what you a-are

i love the fact that the ONLY thing i want from nicole richie's House of Harlow jewelry collection is a headband that costs... $395!!! that is so beyond ridiculous.

i guess i will just wait and hope forever 21 comes out with a knock off version soon.

3.09.2009

'cause everytime you smile i feel tremors in my heart

as someone who refused to buy an iPod bc i thought it was stupid to pay that much for something that only plays music, I'm really glad i held out and bought myself an iPhone. its much more amazing than i could ever have imagined. adding applications is terribly addictive, i currently have 22 that I've added to my phone and most of them are not even remotely practical. entertaining? yes, but definitely not necessary. the application that I'm probably most excited about is the Shakespeare one. it has his complete works all nice and organized for your reading pleasure and i almost died when i saw they had it. TheScene is pretty cool too, it tracks your location and gives you all of the bars & clubs in your area. that's gonna come in handy whenever we road trip it somewhere. when me and lele went to Austin in September, it was really annoying having to get on the computer at the hotel to look for things to do on the days before the concert. there is also an app for style.com which has pretty much made my life complete. it has most every major designer's complete collection organized by season and ready-to-wear or couture since fall 2001. its fashion heaven. yesterday i had to do bar at work-- we were at like 65% & filled with mostly regulars so it was really slow, i looked through the entire christian dior and christian lacroix spring 2009 couture collections while i had nothing to do, if i hadn't had that application i would have been standing there bored out of my mind for 2 hours.
anyway, this is pretty much just an entry i wanted to make bc i wanted to post my iphone cover bc im pretty sure its the cutest thing ever created...




ps. today i also rediscovered my favorite song from when i was 11, sitting up in my room by brandy. i made it into a ringtone so feel free to call me so i can hear it! heres the video that is deliciously 90s in both clothes & dance moves and that also briefly features donald faison.

3.08.2009

moralistically he taught us to be good, how to set ourselves free and do all the shit we should

so i got over being pissed at lelers and ended up over here for another craquiris night. we watched tropic thunder and hamlet 2. im pretty sure "rock me sexy jesus" is the best song ever written. rdj is like hilarious in tropic thunder but he definitely doesnt beat jack blacks jellybeans scene. its the best thing ever. anyway, here is video....


oh, and i must mention th fact that the part where jesus rips off his robe totally reminds me of my seventh grade religion teacher who used to make us meditate. she once told us about how she used to "meditate" about jesus but picture him as a cowboy in jeans and white t-shirt because he was more relatable to her in that form. now that i think about it, it seems kinda like a weird fantasy she shared with us...whatever though, it totes came to life in rock me sexy jesus, i hope she saw this movie.


there is a pic from tonight, i was playin on lele's photobooth just now. and yes, it is definitely as much fun as it looks.

3.07.2009

i love that my drunk ass had exuberant amounts of fun and didnt really even do anything of much consequence tonight. only my besties could give me a night like this.

3.06.2009

don't let me be the last to know, don't hold back, just let it go

tonight is so boring for me. work was slow as ever, i srsly had like 14 check ins in my 8 hour shift and they didnt even all show up by the time i left tonight. then i was supposed to go see watchmen but we all decided to wait til saturday bc going to see a 2hr and 45 minute movie that starts at midnight is pretty ridiculous for people with schedules like ours. so now im home, ive exhausted pretty much all forms of communication for the night and talked to everyone either while i was at work or when i got off and now im just here... talking to jordan, who is apparently my late night savior bc hes the only one who ever answers me when its this late. thats why i <3 him so. i need more besties like him.
anyway, today i got my bonus check so im pretty sure im going to buy my iphone in the morning right after i go to the bank. i cannot wait. i wish i had better plans for the weekend so i could really test it out but seeing as i dont as of right now, i shall have to be satisfied. i might try to get everyone to vinnies tomorrow night or something though. vinnies is never hard to put together bc everyone pretty much loves it.

oh also, after what seems like an entire lifetime worth of waiting alexander mcqueen's line at target came out the other day, and sadly, i was kind of disappointed. i mean, i know mr. mcqueen is known for being risky and crazy but i do not see how most of the clothes in that line will work in the real world. the pink & black print is crazy, even for some one who likes risky, like me. i did end up buying two shirts and advising lele to buy one dress, but for the most part i think the collection is a little unwearable for your average person, though im sure every teenage wanna be who thinks she knows fashion will be rocking it. oh, and the ONLY thing i was waiting for, the kick ass leather vest... costs $140!!! yes, one hundred and forty dollars for a vest from target. now, mind you, had my profit sharing check been bigger i probably would have bought it; but i cannot, without regret, think about the fact that someone somewhere in this country has a piece of target clothing that they paid $140 for. it kills me.

to end: i wonder if im gonna have to re-download all of my ringtones to my iphone bc i totally have the best ringtones ever and do not want to lose them. oh, and with the arrival of my iphone i vow to text less. 1-because im pretty sure touch screen texting would be the end of me and 2- im starting to like talkin on the phone more than texting bc its easier to know how people mean things when theyre actually saying them to you. so expect that. :) yay consumerism!

3.04.2009

all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to if you seek amy

britney was last night, which was amazing. im pretty sure i was tipsy the entire show bc we went to dominic's before to have a drink and kill some time until we had to walk down to the arena, that made it more interesting. the pussycat dolls were really good. i was sad lele and lacey werent with us bc they would have so much fun and would have danced with me. britney was really good. ive been looking around the internet trying to see what the general opinion of the show was, and people are way harsh! i mean it wasnt the craziest show ive ever been to but it was really high energy, the stage sets rocked, britney seemed like she was really into the performance and it looked like she was actually having fun with it. she played some old stuff, like boys & im a slave 4 u plus she played everytime, radar, and some circus stuff. i had a great time. the merchandise was overpriced, $40 for a tshirt, but thats to be expected at a pop show, i guess. bun took some really good video that im gonna post below. i just wanted to say that it really was not a bad show at all, for her first time back since her craziness, she did amazingly well and i feel it was well worth the money.
my guilty pleasure britney song, radar:


i loved this part, she got lifted up on this big pretty umbrella thing. it was amazing. cute song too.


this song is classic britney, so of course i was glad to hear it.


i was surprised she played Boys, bc i dont remember it ever being that big of a single, but im glad she did bc its one of my faves off of that album. and then If U Seek Amy was right after, which is my fave off the new cd.

3.03.2009


im really happy in my life right now, but ive really been missing my dad a lot lately and it makes it really hard for me to enjoy myself and ignore the way i feel when i think about him randomly & it kinda sucks bc there is so much fun stuff going on for me right now.

2.26.2009

im just the medicine you take when youre sick, you get well & thats it

i feel terrible. i have been sick since mardi gras night and this is the first time ive been out of bed since i got off work tuesday at 11pm. im like pretty sure i might have strep throat or the flu, im not sure which. i hate taking over the counter medicines but have been forced to because my fever got to be like 103. uuugh. never again will i go out until 5am on lundi/mardi gras.

i did have quite the good mardi gras weekend though. alex's sister came down and she is so much fun. i cant wait til we are family. i stayed at the hotel for a few nights bc lauren and my sister both got rooms on seperate nights so i crashed with them after we got in. we only had one really crazy night, which im not even going to discuss in detail bc i wouldnt mind forgetting some of it. all i know is i had a lot of fun, i was sad that no one really came down this year, jordan couldnt make it and neither could any of the family that was planning to, but it was good times anyway.

2.17.2009

when there wasnt anywhere for me to go i stumbled into deep love with your rock n roll

i cannot stop making radio stations on pandora. it amazes me how they pick songs, whoever wrote the program its built on needs a noble peace prize or something. if you dont know what it is, its this site you go to, you type in a song or an artist and it builds a radio station around your suggestions. i made one with coconut records and she & him, i got songs from both artists as well as songs from belle & sebastian, the shins, and feist and very rarely is a song played that i dont like. there is even a drop menu on each song and if you click where it says why did you chose this song it will tell you the elements in the song that they believe appeal to you. apparently, i like music with "electronica influences, r & b influences, rock n roll roots, jazz influences, demanding instrumental part writing, melodic horn lines, mild rhythmic syncopation, basic rock song structure, folk influences, mixed acoustic and electronic instrumentation, pop rock qualities, a subtle use of vocal harmony, acoustic rhythm piano, and a mix of major and minor key tonality" that is of course, a description encompassing all of the stations i have saved right now not just one. its so fun though yesterday i made a station around "i cant take my eyes off of you",buddy holly, ritchie valens, and the ronettes and so all day all i listened to was that doo wop pop from the 50/60s. today im in a brighter mood though, so im listening to my tilly & the wall/the bird and the bee station-- its happy, fun, whimsical indie pop. <3
i cant wait to go shopping today.


this is a weird/cute video but its better than the artist's and really i just cant get this song out of my head.

2.16.2009

nothing feels better than ok

in an attempt to pull myself out of my head and push myself into the real, waking world i have deactivated my facebook account. i don't spend that much time on there, but i've decided that i don't really need to spend anytime on there at all. everyone that i have in my day to day life is amazing & pseudo-connecting with people that i really never see or who i'm friends with just because i'm nosy is kind of ridiculous. i have the addresses & phone numbers of people who live elsewhere, so they're still in reach. i will not, however, get rid of this blog because its really quite fun.
this video...

totally reminds me of this video...

& i love them both. for some reason i cant stop listening to 50/60s pop today though.

2.14.2009

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!



lol i <3 these.

2.12.2009

all the beautiful sounds of the world in a single word

tonight i noticed that my name has the same number of syllables as maria aaand corina & so ive come to realize that only an incredibly cool indie rock n roll-ish or an incredibly gay boy can make my dreams of an iconic serenade come true. sighs.

such is life.

2.08.2009

the love you feel and carry inside can be passed

i cant wait until valentines day! its only like 6 days away!
i never understand how people dont like valentines day, even if theyre single. ive never had a proper valentine and i still look forward to it every year. i get that its a greeting card holiday and all that jazz but even so its a day thats there for you to celebrate whomever it is you love at that time. valentines day has always been special, ever since i was little. every february 14th me and lele would wake up and go to the living room for cartoons and every year there was a single rose & a mini box of chocolates for each of us from our dad and a bag of candy and toys from our mom. my mom always had a dozen roses and a huge box of chocolates and maybe some jewelery or something from dad, then me and lele had whatever school projects we had done that year to give to them. all in all, it was a day that manifested the love we all had between each other in little gifts or crafts, however cheesy. so this year, like the past few years have been, i will be spending v-day with my best friends. curently im planning on baking cupcakes that im going to be passing out to my work buddies & some new friends. for the evening im pretty sure we are gonna end up at chevys bc bebe is the only one of us scheduled to work and so we can all be together, we are going to go there and then come back to my house so we can watch movies. anyway, im very excited about it! i know my friends know how much they mean to me but it will be a nice day to just hang out together and be girls and get dressed up and celebrate the fact that even though we are all pretty much boyfriendless at the moment, we are still ok. soceity kind of makes you feel like if youre not with someone yet that you should be on some desperate search but i dont think it has to be like that all. relationships of all sorts are important and maybe until youre in love or even just trying to get there with someone, its nice to have friendships to get you through, so why not celebrate that? so screw people calling it singles awareness day, its valentines day and its all about love & happiness.

2.07.2009

we treat mishaps like sinking ships



so craquiris is now a tradition as this is the second week in a row weve gone there and rented movies.

all i really came here to say is i cant wait to fall in love. hopefully its adventurous and fun and adorable like nick & nora. i hope whn i fall in love its with someone who has good taste in music-- im pretty sure thatd make my life complete. <3

& ps. im done obsessing. hes just not that into you has opened my eyes.

2.06.2009

its alright, its ok, because of the love he gave away

1) What are you wearing right now? robot pajama pants and a striped hoodie shirt



2) What's the last thing I read/ are currently reading? the beautiful and damned by f.scott fitzgerald is the last thing i completed reading. it was lovely but kind of sad. currently i am reading as if after sex by joseph tochia. i dont really know how i feel about it yet bc so far the entire book is just this guys stream of conscience so the time line can get rather confusing. its a good idea though, not like anything ive read before.



3) Do you nap a lot? not at all really.



4) Who was the last person you hugged? probably bella or sarah. i cant remember really.



5) What's your current obsession/addiction? surprisingly i dont really have one right now. ive been kind of random this week.



6) What was the last thing you said out loud? "...you said tomorrow would be fun..." im singing along to "who'd have known" by lily allen. its on the mix im listening to right now, its such a cute song. i ♥ it



7) What websites do you always visit when you go online? ontd, facebook, yahoo



8) What was the last item you bought? blueberries & hummus last night at the grocery store.



9) What is your most challenging goal? losing weight bc i really hate exercise-- i dont like sweat, i think its gross, but im trying to look past that and just do it.



10) If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished- anywhere in the world, where would it be? i cant decide between manhattan and paris. id probably choose manhattan though bc i already know english and id hate to live in paris before im fluent in french.



11) Favorite Vacation spot? for sentimental value: galveston, tx // for fun: anywhere as long as my friends are with me


12) Say something to the person who tagged you: oh i wasnt tagged, i just saw it on micheals blog and wanted to do it. im nerdy like that.



13) Name one thing you just can't resist no matter how bad it is for you: tbh, i can resist almost anything if i really want to but i guess id say its really hard for me to say no to a drink especially if im out and already kinda tipsy.



14) You are on the Oregon Trail. How are things going? i have no idea what oregon trail even is.



15) If you woke up tomorrow and were a boy, what is the first thing you would do and why? i dont know...cry. i would not make a cute boy.



16) Name one thing you can not live with out: my cell phone. i get bored too easily to not be able to randomly text people.



17) Has a celebrity's haircut ever influence you on your own hairstyle? all the time. when i decide i need a new style the first thing i look at are pictures of celebrities with hair im jealous of.



18) What is your favorite characteristic or quality about yourself [not appearance-related]: that im still immature and fun, even though ive been through some heavy stuff and am at the point in my life where im making some hard decisions and trying to see plans through i like to have fun with life bc we only have one and i would hate to be serious all the time.



19) What brought you to blogland? well i had been writing blogs on myspace for a while, but i found myself holding back bc i was very aware of who had access to them. so i decided the best thing to do was just make a public blog so that way i could just write like i was addressing the world and maybe be a little more honest and hold back less.



20) New Question: What attracts you most to another person? i have no idea. i find all kinds of different guys attractive so i cant really pin point any one thing.


21) New Question II: If you had to choose between a goose who laid golden eggs for Easter or fizzy lifting drink, what would you choose? the goose. im afraid of heights so fizzy lifting drink is not even remotely tempting to me, especially since they almost got chopped up into little pieces by that fan, that part always scared me.

22) Your New Question: If you could pick only one song to listen to on repeat for the rest of your life, what would it be? "romeo & juliet" dire straits ive loved that song since my dad played it for me when i was a little girl and i think its just the most romantic, beautiful song ever.

2.04.2009

we havent met yet



:*)

i feel myself about to begin a new obsession with this boys' songs. i first heard him in short bus and his song was my favorite from the soundtrack but for some reason i just recently realized he has a full length out so im gonna go buy it tomorrow but until then i decided to (LEGALLY) download this song & its now on repeat along with soda shop. so go listen to him. you can thank me later.

2.03.2009

and now to me everything else, it just sounds like a lie

so these past few days have been rather amazing. youve read about my weekend already and then yesterday i finally found a good version of "going for the gold" to listen to while i sleep, i got the britney tickets i had been hoping for at a very good price, the book i started reading is amazing, my money situation is improving, i found out that lily is doing a u.s tour & that bruce is playing bonnaroo. everything has been very fun and positive lately and now im completely terrified that something terrible is going to happen to counteract all of this. this is exactly how my life was when my dad died. we had just got back from skate & surf, i had a new job & apartment, i had new friends, and my life was going really well and then he was gone and my life took this like 3 year downward spiral that im just starting to feel like i recovering from. i hate living with this fear that every time things are going well for me, that something is going to happen to ruin it all.

anyway, here is "going for the gold" if you want to hear it.

i really like the part where he says "cause each note sounds so pure, it just cuts into her". he says cut so crisply that you can feel and almost see it then her is sung so sympathetically that you feel like hes apologizing to her for everything else seeming so fake. its probably one of the strongest endings of a song bc it leaves you with a definite emotion. well it leaves me with one, thats probably bc i love everything conor & bright eyes and so i tend to listen repeatedly and over analyze.

ps. i have no idea why who ever posted this video used such a creepy picture. so here is a more accurate one.

close your eyes, the dark outside can't hurt you

its funny how i never care who i am talking to until i stop talking to the person that i really want to talk to.

2.01.2009

talkin about glory days

this weekend off has been much needed and very much enjoyed. friday i finally made it to craquiris with lele & alex. stayed at their place and ended up watching the strangers all alone (while drunk, which is not something i recommmend to anyone who scares easily), it was fun though bc we have been meaning to go to that daquiri shop for a long time, and its always fun to see alex drunk bc for a marine he really cant handle his liquor.

saturday was actually very chill bc all i did was go with lele & alex to meet bea & lacey at canal place for slumdog millionaire. god, that movie was so good. i dont think ive ever felt such a range of emotion in a film before. it was funny and sad and romantic and you hated some characters while you loved others and then there were some you just didnt know how you felt about. it was very good and i fully intend to see it again very soon. then i went to the mall and made myself proud bc i went to steve madden & did not buy a single pair of shoes even though there was a crazy sale and i also resisted purchasing that mood lipgloss, oscar blandi hair spray & jasmine dry shampoo at sephora. apparently reaching my half birthday (and becoming twenty three & a half) has seen me to a new level of self control. yay me! oh and then we went to barnes and noble where i bought 2 books and a calendar but that doesnt counteract my self control at the mall bc i made purchases that were good for me, as enriching your mind by reading is not something you should feel bad about.

then, of course, there is today which has been nothing short of a cup full of wonderful. the past twelve hours have been lovely & enchanting & chill & i had such fun. to start with i woke up early, picked up lo & erin, then headed to the ferry. we caught the ferry to downtown & went to see the first showing of revolutionary road at canal place. it was such a good movie. it made me very sad though. i think it made me so sad bc i have the same kind of fears that kate winslet's character had. im afraid of turning into one of those mechanical people who forgets what its like to make mistakes and take risks and really feel alive. i dont want to end up turning into someone who lives each day in some humdrum routine that she despises, and i certainly dont like the idea that so many people think that comfort = happiness. i think happiness is completely undefinable bc it comes in little moments and enormous triumphs. its something that you dont have all day everyday, its something that life throws at you when you really need it and when you catch it, for however briefly, you'll know it.
anyway, that was way off point. so after the movie we got coffee bc poor erin worked overnight last night and hadnt been to sleep yet. we kind of just walked around the quarter talking and shopping. though my self control did slip a little today bc i bought a frame from urban outfitters, but its somewhat justified bc i was in a music induced dreamy world of happiness bc while we were in the upstairs sale section "cape canaveral" from conor oberst & the mystic valley band played IMMEDIATELY before madonna's "vogue" and thats the description of a musical orgasm as far as im concerned. not to mention, the frame says "love" on it and we all know my obsession with that word & it was silver AAAND it was on sale for one 9.99 plus, it was the last one. so. i dont feel bad about it all. we also went to my favorite little book store on chartres where i picked up four new books. i love that store bc i always find the most brilliant and random books there. its not like barnes and noble were as youre walking down the aisles youre overwhelmed by the shiny new spines of books, youre not bombarded by vivid colors and an ever increasing number of new eye catching fonts. the books at this store are all old and worn and their covers lack that new book luster that can be so distracting. after that stop we went into some vintage store, some store with really cute tights, then to sole star (whose style i have completely grown out of, so now i need to find a new shoe store). on our walk back to the ferry we ran into the same steelers fans that we had seen a little earlier and that erin had argued with about the cardinals-- they were kinda drunk, it was funny. then we smelled what we thought was boiled crawfish and decided to stop in this little restaurant and eat bc my recent jump from the world of vegetarianism to pescatarianism had me interested in having crawfish again. they ended up not having crawfish but they did have oysters, which i had never had before. so i ordered a half dozen chargrilled for all of us to try. after a little coaxing (& some unwanted filming of my first foray into the slimy little shelled dish) and some help from the lovely waitress i tried them. they actually are pretty good. then, somehow, lauren convinced me and erin to try raw oysters and all i have to say about that is never again. it wasnt bad but i just dont think i could do it. it creeped me out. it was new though, so it was also fun.
after that we headed back to the ferry and i made it home just in time to catch the beginning of the superbowl. i kind of watched it off and on but i saw all the major plays and was completely entranced by the half time show. im very glad i didnt join my friends at chevys just because watching bruce with my mom and sisters felt really nice. it made me kind of sad, bc obviously we were all thinking about my dad since hes the one who made us all fall in love with bruce when we were young, but it was a nice kind of sad. the kind of sad that made me appreciate the fact that i have the family thats still here and that the one part that is gone can still bring us together. plus, bruce is just bad ass and you have to love him rockin out and just feeling good and having fun. he seems like such a good man. i think id like to marry a man that is like him-- adventurous and good hearted, smart and poetic, handsome and sensitive and manly and edgy and hot and just...ugh...everything! lol i dunno. i just love bruce springsteen. unfortunately, i did miss the puppy bowl on animal planet while i was out today, but bella assured me that they will play it again so i can watch it with her then. :) shes adorable. and since the superbowl has been over i have been doing absolutely nothing other than discovering the recently leaked tracks off of lily's new album, writing this, and listening to music. life has been good this weekend, and hopefully work tomorrow will let me stay on this cloud just a little bit longer. <3

1.31.2009

"muttered buffin"
"alex likes to dance to metro station bitch." he does though in all seriousness.
we said lots of funny clever things tonight but we cannot remember them. too bad for you.

so we are trying to convince alex to turn this stupid movie off & it goes like this...
me- "alex, i think there is gonna be a lot of gay sex in this movie."
-alex "its ok. its what i deal with all day at work."
ps. drunk blogging is fun.

1.30.2009

it's just one of them days that a girl goes through

this morning has been rather busy for me. i was up at 8, which NEVER happens, but i had things to do. anyway, it works out bc i have everything finished for today and all i have left to do is go to work to do bar. i have an hour before i have to leave so im sitting here getting some music & i was browsing some peoples folders and was completely surprised to see someone had a folder named "black music"-- in what world is that ok!? i mean, it could be worse but srsly... black music? i got songs from them anyway though, bc to be honest they have a really good collection of old school r&b (think monica & boyz ii men circa 1995) but i was just at a loss when i saw that.

this weekend shall prove to be a chill one. i am free from work as of 8pm tonight & have no intentions whatsoever of going out for the entire weekend. after the fun & fiascos of last weekend, which i am still recovering from (just look at my legs for the proof), i am sure i will not being going out for quite some time. so i have plans for the movies saturday & sunday and then im hoping to take my sisters to city park to have one of those nice picnic/reading days where we just hang out together. i havent done that with them in probably over a year and they're such good company. i just love the little people they are becoming.

in other news, they have released the coachella line up & tickets went on sale this morning & i really want to go. the line up is amazing. of course, ive wanted to go for quite a few years (especially that year madonna played) but this year especially bc i would like to see conor & jenny again plus seeing the cure and lupe fiasco in one day would probably just blow my mind. now the trouble will be finding someone to go with. im not asking any of my best friends bc i just know they wouldnt like it. we dont listen to the same kind of music at all & it would be like if lauren asked me to go to some country music festival with her (exception being that my music is actually good, but thats just a detail.) so my only hopes are lele & jordan. im sure lele wont go bc i would not go if alex went & she wouldnt go if he couldnt. so really my only hope is jordan. so im crossing my fingers! if i cant get some plans going in the next few weeks though, then im just gonna buy britney tickets and go to that in march. now, britney is by no means a substitute for coachella bc that music actually has some integrity, but her music IS fun to dance to, so i'm down with it.

1.29.2009

its 5 oclock in the morning, the conversation got boring

i have absolutely nothing of any value to write here tonight(or really any other night since my blog is less philosophical than i would like) bc everything i was thinking about at work has since left my brain & i forgot my notebook at home today so i couldnt jot things down as i was thinking them. i hate when i do that. oooh well, if im meant to think about those things more then i suppose they will come to me again.
besides, tonight id rather watch donnie darko than write. :)

1.28.2009

don’t be sad when the sun goes down

i know im not the only one who does this but, you know how when there is something you really want to do or say but you have this feeling that maybe you shouldnt and youre afraid to really make a decision so in your head you kind of make this weird bet with the universe like ..."if the next song that plays is a happy one then i will do it" or "if the light doesnt turn red before i pass it then i will tell him/her"? so i kind of did that today and i had to LOL because the universe gave me the most ambiguous response ever& so just a word of advice... be specific if youre the kind of person who does things like that too bc now i still cant decide what to do so im just gonna leave it alone for tonight.

1.27.2009

they built the pyramids!

so im about to go to work but i must say... today was gone quite well thus far. i got a check for $200 that i wasnt expecting which means i now have money to fix my brakes so i no longer have to fear dying in an accident bc my brakes have failed me, no one has been here all day so ive just kinda hung out and finished up a few things, and ive been watching big bang theory & 30 rock while straightening my hair (which looks pretty amazing today, if i do say so myself). all i have to do is get through work unscathed & today will have been near perfect. :)

today is one of those days where i just want to crawl under a rock and not come out.
hopefully it gets better late, maybe im just in this mood bc i woke up @ 7.

1.26.2009

forever united here somehow

since last tuesday ive had every intention of sitting down and writing all my opinions/feelings about the inauguration but here i am almost a week letter and i still have not. this is supposed to be my attempt at recording the thoughts i remember having but its entirely too hard for me to write about something im not feeling at the moment...its frustrating. so instead of my reflections on the inauguration im going to recap my last few nights & write about what im feeling tonight--which is a lot of boredom & a few things i really dont feel comfortable airing on my blog, so actually i guess this is more an entry to say that
1. i cannot stop listening to My Life Would Suck Without You. its just as infectious as Since U Been Gone but happy!!!
2. my schedule this week is amazing and i cannot wait until the weekend.
3. there is this pseudo-situation that has been all in my head for the past week or so and i wish i could just get it out of my brain.
4. I AM SO AWAKE AND ITS LIKE 4 AM AND IM GOING TO DIE TOMORROW IF I CANT FALL ASLEEP SOON!!!
5. oh, and i still really want an iphone like super super bad. stupid apple.


its a lovely song, i dont care what anyone says.

1.19.2009

I've got mixed-up memories And I've got favourite places

this weekend hasnt been completely devoid of fun. yesterday we went around the cbd to see the prospect 1 art exhibits. they were astounding, except the one in front of harrahs, that one kinda pissed me off a little. overall though, it was rather nice bc the weather was perfect, and the pieces were good and thought provoking and, to say the least, beautiful. i particularly loved the chandelier over the mirrored floor, though had i known that there were mirrored floors involved i would not have worn a dress. then today was full of loveliness & fun. i woke up, went shopping with bunn & some of his friends, came home to bake & ended up dancing to lady gaga & madonna in the kitchen while icing cupcakes, which, btw came out super cute. im excited for tomorrow. i feel like this election was a great one. its the first time that the person i voted for won & i really feel like i was a part of something big, something thats gonna bring about a lot of good. im just so very happy & full of hope tonight-- and its not the fleeting the kind, its the real kind, the kind that makes me sure that things in this country are going to start heading in the right direction. :D

i dunno. im just on top of the world at the moment. my day was filled with things i love: shopping, good music, and great people & tomorrow is just gonna be even better!

1.18.2009

discarded all the naughty nights for niceness

i totally want to go out tonight. even though i have plans early tomorrow and all i feel like im just wasting time i wont ever get back. night time is so much fun and im just here, bored, listening to the artic monkeys on my kooks radio station, writing/making an entry into my notebook, and being really fucking bored. this sucks. lately ive just been feeling this sense of urgency to just live and be apart of everything, good and bad, and just being home tonight-- it feels like this great pressure thats hanging over me trying to get me out of here, but i have nowhere to go. uuugh.
i need more friends with interests that are at least somewhat similar to mine.
that or i need to move bc i feel like im dying here.

i love this song, especially tonight for some reason.

1.15.2009

saawariya

everyone knows im a huge fan of foreign films but i have never really watched very many bollywood movies, probably only like two or so. so i watched this one last night bc it cinematography wise it looked pretty brilliant and im sucker for nice settings. i looooove this movie. its almost like a bollywood moulin rouge. now some parts of it are pretty dramatic & its definitely not for everyone, but its beautiful to watch & you really feel everything and understand the characters. its probably one of the best movies ive seen in quite a long time. of course my head is kind of like this movie lately-- just kinda dreamy & lovely, balancing somewhere between seriousness and humor not knowing whether to be happy or sad or maybe a little of both.


Saawariya Title Track - The funniest bloopers are right here


Saawariya - Masha Allah - Funny videos are here

do you want to listen to my splendid eloquence for a few starry hours?

so ive definitely snapped out of my whole little dream world that ive been in for the past few days. i hate when i go through little periods of daydreaming and floating along like that bc i become so detached from whats actually going on. i have a tendency to do this; while it happens less often, i wish it would stop all together because that fall back into reality sucks. i always end up disappointed and sad and to feel that right after such hope and :) is not nice, it kinda hurts a little.

moving on... i have to go fight these people about the ticket they sent me in the mail and i have to go by tomorrow. i havent decided if im going to just go today and leave for work an hour or so early or if im just going to wake up early and go tomorrow. i will probably just go tomorrow though bc i know if i go today with an hour to spare, its going to take 2 hours and i wouldve just wasted time. plus if i go tomorrow i can just swing by uno & delgado to get all this loan stuff settled. not to mention, itd be much better if i was dressed cute rather than in my work skirt & shirt when i go to the courthouse.
i cannot wait until sunday. i mean, im off tomorrow but then i have to be back at work on saturday (which sucks bc im missing justin's wedding :( ) BUT some sunday i am free of the drury inn & suites until thursday! i love when all of my days off are together like that. albeit, if i had more money and could take a mini road trip it would be much better, but its still nice. ive had my fill of fun for the past few months, so now i can just kinda settle back into the regularity of work and hopefully school. :)

1.14.2009

i like your steeze, your style, your whole demeanor

so im about to leave for work in a few & my cell has been dead since about 11 something. apparently at&t sucks. its has something to do with our areas network, im guessing something broke but it better be fixed soon bc what the hell am i gonna do at work today with no cell service?!
i watched happenstance this morning when i woke up... so cute. i love movies like that. im a nerd though, so im probably alone in how cute i think it is.
anyway, i was just randomly on post secret and this made me lol...

srsly. i diiiied when i read that.

there was also this one...

that kills. at the same time, im sure she is not the only one who does things like that. im pretty sure everyone is guilty of e-stalking their friends, crushes, or enemies. its human nature to be curious and the internet just makes it so easy. lol that sounds totally creepy, huh?

currently playing: "dilemma" by nelly & kelly rowland.
i wanted to put the video up but i cant find it anywhere. youtube sucks.

es una obsesion

so its not secret that i really admire people with talent and im listening to marc anthony right now and for all of his unattractiveness, im like 70% sure i could fall in love with him based solely on his talent. isnt that crazy!? he can sing and all his songs are so cute and sweet and romantic and terribly cheesy but perfect for nights like this when youre just awake without anyone to talk to.
that being said. im like on spanish music trip tonight bc its all marc, 2 versions of obsesion, selena and no me ames on my playlist at the moment.

1.13.2009

what a lonesome feeling, to be waiting around like some washed up actress in a tinsel town

no great thoughts or revelations in the past few days-- just work, randomness, reading and the such. im just trying to update this almost everyday so i can keep on point with my writing, i feel like ive taken too long of a break from it. im not trying to be epic, just consistent and honest.

last night night i went with bea & lacey to vinnies super last minute, like i left work early, came home, got dressed, and then lacey picked me up kinda last minute. it was fun for all of its briefness. it was odd to get home before like 4 or 5 bc i was still kinda awake since im used to being up til around then. i did, however, fall asleep rather quickly once i was off the phone bc i think i was still tired due to my lack of sleep from the previous nights.
anyway, today i have work 3-11p and im so not feeling it bc we are running at almost 100% occupancy and im there by myself once bar is over. :( that being said, im pretty sure we are either going to be very busy or very slow, which means i will either get to read a lot of my book or i will want to kill someone. lets hope its the former and not the latter.

1.11.2009

you make me feel out of my element

it is totally pathetic that im updating this twice in one day, but if im gonna do it then there is no better day than a sunday. at least i dont look like a loser! :)
aanyway, i was just thinking about the fact that katy perry is nominated for a grammy. has the show lost all credibilty!? i mean srsly... KATY PERRY?! ugh. nothing makes me more angry than this bc i dont think conor OR the kooks were even nominated and theyre so amazing but "i kissed a girl"/psuedo-lesbian katy perry gets a nom?! the world is slowly beginning to disappoint me.

in other news, im listening to this new playlist that is probably the most random thing ive ever put together(think taylor swift meets aly & aj, britney, the kooks, conor, & lily. its insanity.), but it is perfect for how im feeling tonight. although if i had any songs that induced fear id probably put them on too bc im kinda apprehensive about somethings right now. like the fact that i dont even know if my loan is gonna be in on time and if i dont get to go to school this semester im gonna be so very sad. my horoscope says this is a perfect time for me to be taking on new projects & for the first time in a long time i feel like the stars are very in sync with where i am personally. i kinda feel invincible and now these stupid little things like due dates and the such are gonna get in my way. ugh :( damn the man. im gonna listen to some lily allen now.

hold on to this kite

tonight, thus far, has been uneventful and lovely. ive pretty much just done my little girlie routine things, like painting nails, washing my hair, doing a facial and am now watching the golden globes. i wouldnt like it if every night was like this, but for today... it will do just fine.
now if one more little thing could happen i would be completely happy, but thats kind of a long shot, and so i will just leave things as they are for now.

1.10.2009

oh, potential, youre a loaded line

i hate working early in the morning. im sooo not a morning person.

i love "gentleman's pact" from conor oberst and the mystic valley band. its a pretty good song, it kinda reminds me of bruce but... conor style ([?] if that makes any sense). i dunno. hes just amazing all the time anyway, this is just my obsession for the night. :)

ive been watching 30 rock for a while now and i must say... i really want to move to new york like now. i feel like my entire life is waiting to start until i get there. thats probably not a good thing, but its just this feeling i have. i dunno. you think the book im reading would be warning enough against being idle but i really identify with gloria & anthony's dreams and thoughts about the future. they ignore the present and just float along having fun, kinda like im doing now. only its really not satisfying to them, theyre just too scared to really go out on a limb and actually do anything worth while. that being said... f.scott's words have not fallen upon deaf ears (or blind eyes? it seems that be more appropriate to say since i am reading the book but thats an awkward take on the saying)...i have applied for two school loans so i can go back asap-- hopefully this semester if it all gets taken care of in time. uggggh. who knows. i feel like ive royally fucked myself with all this sitting out of school business.

anyway, im tired and ive just made myself somewhat sad & angry so im off to listen to conor & try to fall asleep.

whilst writing, i came across this...

so correction: this is my new obsession. still love "gentleman's pact" though.

1.08.2009

stop youre making me blush.

im the kind of person that commercials are geared toward. im such a slave to consumerism that its crazy, and as aware as i am of this, i still give in eventually. i own so many things i never use or that are completely impractical but still, i feel like i need more. for instance, im currently fighting this very strong urge to buy the iphone. its such an absurd little machine that does all these ridiculous (but cool) pointless things. i have a phone thats perfectly fine. it holds all the music i really need it to, it has a good enough camera to make for decent facebook mobile uploads when im drunk, it lets me on the internet when the sites are blocked on the work computer but for all of this, for as satisfied as i am with what i currently have, knowing that there is something better that other people have and enjoy that i do not tears at me. i dont need a $400 phone, but will i get it? probably. bc im just that fucking dumb. sometimes america and its big corps bug me. of course, i cant blame just them. i should have a little more self control and will power. oooh well. what can ya do?

in other news... i am bored. and awake. and will probably be up til 4 a.m yet again tonight. why? bc i have the worst sleeping schedule on the face of the earth.

oh & i also am trying to avoid lakeside bc ive been wanting to go to steve madden and sephora soooo bad lately and now that i am not broke i could go buy the stuff i want. however, im going to try to start saving for paris now, with it being the new year and all, i guess now is as good a time as any.

1.07.2009

you and i both looooved...

so ive had this really stupid fucking thing on my mind lately & it is interfering in my sleep so i wish it would just hurry up and get resolved or something would happen so i could just be done with it. sometimes i really hate the fact that i think so much and just....ugh! its frustrating.

& yes, i am listening to jason mraz. i love this video.

Watch more Waiting for My Rocket to Come videos on AOL Video

1.05.2009

cuz im just a teenage dirtbag, baby

so ive been super worried about some...issues ive had recently, but i think everything is gonna end up working out ok and i wont have to worry about ya know...getting arrested!!! srsly. i would die, but i should be able to take care of everything by the end of the week. i dont know why i always think i can just do whatever i want with no consequences. since it is a new year ive decided that im going to try really hard to start being much more mature and really handling my business instead of putting important things on the back burner and ignoring them. also... my horoscope today is like insanely accurate and kind of freaking me out a little, but im pretty sure thats just because i was up watching the history channel and all the 2012 doomsday, prophecy things and now im pretty sure that the whole astrology thing could really mean something. yeah, i definitely should not have skipped so many of my fads & fallacies classes.

ugh. anyway, ive been having tons of fun this month, mostly bc everyone is out of school which means free schedules and lots of drunkeness, which is not always a good thing as my lack of memory can point out. i hate getting really fucking drunk but it just seems to happen every now and then. i dont know why. i am completely determined to only get tipsy this weekend and not drunk til the next day & hungover. new years was really good. there was a little drama but thats mainly bc i get kinda bitchy when i drink redbull and vodka (i have no idea why, but its better than being sad drunk) but we all got over it and ended up embarrassing jordan in front of the kinda cute, possibly gay rotolos delivery guy. so it was amazing as usual. i love my friends, theyre so fun & cute-- you really cant ask for more.

i also find it very funny that i write on this thing and i know no one reads it anymore. whaaatever.its the story of my wonderful little life.

 
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